Mike and Mick had never been to a house bingo. Their girlfriends, sisters, aunties, mothers, grandmothers and their cousins had all gone there at least several nights per week when they could sell enough cans or bottles. Welfare days were tough because they all ran up their bills at the store. That week was family allowance week, so all was good.

One evening when their girlfriends were on their way to Mike’s auntie’s place, his girlfriend Rebecca, asked the boys to join them.

“It’ll be fun pumpkin-pie” cooed Rebecca.

“Eee, you be trippin’ hon, there is no way I’m going there,” responded Mike, “besides, my auntie will keep teasing me about you since I’m 14 and you’re 22.”

Mick chimed in: “Rebecca, be more like my chick Lizzie, even though she’s only 13, she lets me be.”

“You’re just with her cause she babysits all weekend for her sister when she goes out drinking,” Said Rebecca scornfully. “Since she gets paid $20, you scam it off her to buy hoots for you and Mike” she continued.

“Whatever man, at least I don’t collect her family allowance like you do Mikes’, ever sick man, you’re claiming your own boyfriend.”

“So what? He gets money to buy hoots and smokes, that YOU mostly bum off.”

“You guys settle down,” said Mike, “Mick let’s just go to bingo and see what’s it all about man.”

The group started walking to the house bingo as Mick picked up a cigarette stub and lit it up, “You want a drag bro?”

“Yeah man” said Mike.

They surveyed the area inside the house and found a place to sit. Three of them sat down as Lizzie got the cards for her friends.

“She’s such a good girlfriend man, “ Mick said, “she called five games last night so she’s going to pay for my cards.”

Mike turned to Rebecca, “are you paying for my cards?”

“Of course pumpkin, it is your family allowance”

“Right on babe, I’m glad my mom agreed to sign me over to you.”

Mike’s auntie walked over to the pair and commented, “oh my goodness it’s ‘nobody’s child’ come to play bingo.”

“Hi auntie, I just thought I’d try a game, eh?”

“Go ahead youngster, and say hello to whoever your mother is this week.”

“No probs auntie.”

“Your auntie is such a bitch” said Rebecca, “I just know she’s against me for some reason.”

Eee, don’t be silly babe, she’s just a little upset my mom didn’t sign me over to her but it’s all good k?”

“K pumpkin, now let’s win some hoot funds.”

Mick and Lizzie were too busy making out on their corner to notice the numbers being called.

“Hey wait man, “said Mick, “I missed some numbers on my bingo card so I need to check.”

Lizzie grabbed the cards and jumped up to the callers table to check the numbers.

“While she’s doing that, I wonder if we should go after this game?”

“Yeah man,” said Mike, “let’s blow this joint and get a joint, chaa!”

Lizzie jumped up and down at the callers table, “We won! We won!” she yelled to Mick.

“Right on babe, the caller doesn’t suck like you said.”

The group counted up the change including all the wrappies “Sweet, we got enough for a 3fer man. “

The faction walked down the road all giddy with anticipation, “where should we go bros and hoes?”

“Let’s go see the tan house, they only make us wait 45 minutes.”

From then on, the group continued to play at house bingos to try and win hoot funds.