Category Archives: Joke & Humor

A category for joke submissions.

NASA Sends Rez Dog to Space – In my Dream

The announcement was huge, reservations all over the United States and reserves across Canada were shocked and bewildered – NASA will be sending a rez dog to space. The big question was: why?
Chuck, a big shot at NASA, was given the task of researching how a dog can stay in space and survive. The dog would need to eat and use the bathroom in space. Chuck needed to hire a young Indigenous man to take the assignment.

One of three young indigenous astronauts would need to be trained to ride spaceships up to a space station and take care of the dog there.

A search commenced across Canada and the US, to find the perfect dog to train. They had to choose a dog that would be trainable and be very versatile. Strong enough to handle the stress and pressure, to handle the difficulties of being in space. The dog would have to float around and be calm enough to not freak out and to survive. For some odd reason, they would need to get a rez dog.

Chuck interviews three young astronauts. They would need to have patience and have a love for dogs. As it turns out, all the young men are perfect. Reserves and reservations all watched the announcement on social media and news outlets. Every one of them was very happy with the choice.

The astronauts are excited about going to space and riding in their spaceships. One of them would take the dog with them. After several days of training, it was time to travel into space.

The dog floats around the space station. Looking casually at the astronauts and not causing a fuss. He eats balls of Bannock as his source of food, and is fitted with a shining silver pamper whenever he needs to “go.”

Chuck celebrates with the rest of NASA as if they landed a man on  Mars.

Then I woke up.

aski – Earth

atim – dog

nikoskopathin– I woke up

ī-pawātamān – I am dreaming

Spaceship Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay

Dog Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

Space Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay

Satellite Video by Jo Luijten from Pixabay

NASA Media Usage Guidelines

 

Tānisi ī-itwīt mahkīsīs? – What Does The Fox Say?

A song from a seven years ago, still begs the question:

Tānisi ī-itwīt mahkīsīs? – What Does The Fox Say?

 

The title is really asking, what sound does a fox make? A dog says woof, a cat says meow, but what does the fox say? So the real question in Cree would be: “tānisi isi kākitot mahkīsīs?”

Or, what howl sound does a fox make? –  tānisi isi kōthot mahkīsīs?

If one of my colleagues or followers can help out with the phrase, I would really appreciate it and give credit where credit is due.

A website from Southern California (https://www.scpr.org/) answers the question and even presents a video on their website. Check it out!

Standing Fox Photo by Clker-Free-Vector-Images of Pixabay

Sitting Fox Photo by Stampf of Pixabay

Sorry to my followers, but it is a slow week.

Just as a reminder, the following embedded YouTube video inspired this post.

Thank you for visiting!

My late review of Mayochup

At the beginning of the year, Heinz Mayochup was making headlines as an exciting new condiment that combined mayonnaise and ketchup in one bottle. However, it made headlines again because when translated to Cree, it meant ‘poop-face.’ Several news websites picked up the story and caused quite a stir on social media.

Before this condiment came out, I have never tried mixing mayonnaise with ketchup, I have used both separately but not at the same time. It sounded interesting to  me.

When it came to Canada, I decided to give it a little time before I bought it because it seemed expensive to me at $4.95. I am kind of “thrifty”, if you know what I mean.

I had it in my fridge for a while but when I tried it, I liked it. It goes well with bologna sandwiches and I do not have to decide on ketchup or mayonnaise, I just use Mayochup.

Now back to the Cree translation controversy. If I attempted to translate to Cree, it would sound more like ‘poop-eye’ as commented on by Arok Wolvengrey on Arden Ogg’s post on the Nêhiyawêwin (Cree) Word/Phrase of the Day:

 

Click image to go to Facebook post by Arden Ogg

 

While I did not chime in at the time, I gave it much thought myself but since I did not even know how it tasted, I felt I needed to test it out. I did not think it tasted like poop or anything.

The picture at the top of the page is the meal I had about 20 minutes before I decided to give my late review. It was probably not the healthiest breakfast, however, it was still very satisfying. You can tell from the almost empty bottle that I have used it many times before (I am the only one in my household who has the guts).

Have a great day, and try a taste yourself.

Heinz Mayochup, 16.5 oz Easy Squeeze Bottle – https://www.heinz.com/product/00013000012409

Heinz calls Mayochup meaning in Cree an ‘unfortunate translation’ – https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/sudbury/mayochup-cree-translation-1.5144737

Rubber Boot at the Window – kinokātīwaskisin wāsīnamānihk

Whenever there was a big thunderstorm, my late grandmother would put a rubber boot at the window. Thunderbirds do not like rubber boots and it drives them away, it worked every time.

awīyak kāstāt kinokātīwaskisin wāsīnamānihk, pithīsowak kita-pōni kitowak

When someone puts a rubber boot at the window, the Thunderbirds will stop calling

Thunderbird
Not an actual Thunderbird.

 

It’s been a long time since Sasquatch was photographed, I wonder if he is still alive?

This meme was inspired from several Facebook memes I’ve seen this past week.

tāpwī kayās aspin kā-masinipīsimīt mistāpīw, matwānicī kīyāpic pimātisiw?

Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay

That’s so nice of you – feeding the squirrels – tāpwī kimithohtwān ī-asamacik anikwacāsak

Woodland Cree audio clips after the cartoon

That’s so nice of you – feeding the squirrels
tāpwī kimithohtwān – ī-asamacik anikwacāsak

Oh, I’m not feeding the squirrels
Eee, namōwitha anikwacāsak kā samakwāw

I’m feeding the hawks
kīhkīhkwak ōma kāsamakwāw

 

A big thank you to Jim Benton, for giving me permission to use his cartoon.

Meme source – https://me.me/i/thats-so-nice-of-you-feeding-the-sqvirrels-oh-feedin%3E-3846a2baf53f4612898ee73ffa2f8028

With permission from Jim Benton: http://www.jimbenton.com/

Bad Cree Names for Dogs – maci nīhithow wihthowina, atimwak ohci

maci wihthowina, atimwak ohci – Bad Names for Dogs

atim – dog

atimwak – dogs

pahpi – laugh

awas – go away

āstam – come here

kīwī – go home

api – sit down

cīskwa – wait

Indian Time – Woodland and Plains Cree

There is a running joke among the reserves about “Indian Time.” I understand it as a reference to how First Nations people use the time on their clocks or watches, sparingly (to put it mildly).

I hope I don’t insult any of our fine First Nations people with the use, but it is used prominently in many gatherings and meetings (not to try and perpetrate the stereotype).

According to the Urban Dictionary: indian time means you leave/arrive “whenever the spirit moves you”

Urban Dictionary – Indian Time – https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=indian%20time